we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
