I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
