I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
third nipple confirmed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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