I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
