I want to make a zoo with you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
