return my video game
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
