Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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