the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
