White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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