Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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