what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
