I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So vagazzling was a success
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
