i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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