no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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