i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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