At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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