In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
