My hand turned me down
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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