I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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