hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
