No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
