honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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