the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
