just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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