Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The power of my boobs compel you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
