what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
