college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I deserve to be covered in dicks
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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