38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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