in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
