is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
