p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
