He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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