alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
