Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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