I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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