Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
