In the future we'll all be gay
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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