I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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