it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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