Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize