Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
