Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
