too bad you live with your parents still
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
