That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The air was thick with penises
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
