he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
