nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
