He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I love you. Go after that dick
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
