that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
