On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
