please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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